50 Questions

I found this list of 50 questions on Joanna Best’s blog. They didn’t originate from Joanne Best, but she had a link on her blog to where she’d got them from. When I clicked that link it took me to ‘A War In My Brain’. Not literally of course, that was the name of Megan’s blog which was where Joanne found the questions. But Megan hadn’t originated the questions either, although she did like cats.

The fact that Megan liked cats didn’t really help me find the origin of the questions. However, the link on her blog led to another lady’s blog who also liked cats called Felina. I don’t mean this lady only liked cats called Felina – that would be pretty limiting; no, I’ve probably just missed a comma there somewhere – Felina was the name of the blogger who also had this list of 50 questions. I think the name of the blog is a play on the word ‘feline’, which is why I think she also likes cats. That and the fact that she has a picture of her tabby cat on her blog. I’m assuming it’s a picture of her cat and that the cat didn’t write the blog, but I don’t know the actual name of the lady who did write the blog either because it’s a ‘sparkle page’ blog, which is a set up I don’t really understand so I couldn’t find her name.

Anyway, Felina – or whatever her real name is – she didn’t have a link to where the questions came from. She just wrote ‘I’ve seen this on some blogs, thought I’d give it a try just for fun’. This pissed me off as I really wanted to know where the questions originated from. Anyway, England and Denmark were playing a friendly and it was about as action packed as a vegan child’s lunchbox, so I decided to answer the questions myself. First I opened a another can of Stella Artois as I’d drank the last of the one of the previous three I’d already had. Here are my answers:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, my older brother and two sisters. I was the second youngest of five, so my younger brother was named after me.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The second time I knew I needed a number two after I had my haemorroidectomy – after the first time I was aware of the agonising pain I was about to experience. After that I decided to make sure I was really drunk and high for the rest of the week.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I’m not too sure, I use a keyboard most of the time, or a touchpad. When I write by hand it’s usually scribbled notes so it’s pretty messy.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
Jerk chicken served with rice and peas. I don’t want to be a grammar Nazi, but I think this should read ‘luncheon’. But it doesn’t matter because I don’t really do sandwiches, unless it’s a triple-decker bacon and egg sandwich, which I’ll usually have for breakfast, so I guess that doesn’t count.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No, I’m a male so I don’t have the biological mechanics to have kids.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I hope not, because that would mean the other person that I would be would be a schizophrenic and I don’t think being schizophrenic would be fun, even if I was another person.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No, but I kept my daughter’s because I was really annoyed that I didn’t manage to save all of her baby teeth. At least with tonsils there is just one set so it’s not too hard to keep up. And even if it wanted to, the tooth fairy could never get in that jar because I’ve closed it really tight – ha!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I would if it wasn’t so damn expensive.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
Kellogg’s Cornflakes, but for some strange reason I never have cornflakes for breakfast. I tend to eat them after dinner, although I don’t really do desserts.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
They’re already untied when I put them on. I really don’t see any reason to tie them up when I take them off as they can’t go anywhere unless I’m wearing them.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
In relation to someone who is weak, I am most definitely a He Man.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
That’s easy – Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Munky.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether they try too hard to be likeable.

15. RED OR PINK?
That’s sexist.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My fickle temperament.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
The first goalscorer in a winning bet. If got that prediction on target every week I would be a rich man.

18. ANY TATTOOS?
Not any, they’re there for life so I’m very particular about the tattoos I choose.

19. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES?
Yes – writing, Djing, watching movies, watching people, playing football, watching football, getting drunk and partying hard to house music and early 90’s drum and bass.

20. WHAT COLOUR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I’m not wearing shoes.

21. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A chocolate Boost bar, a Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut and a packet of Walker’s salt and vinegar crisps.

22. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The pundits talking about the really boring International friendly between England and Denmark that’s just finished, although I’ve not really noticed that it was still on until now, so technically I’m just hearing it like background noise rather than listening to it. However, for some reason I am listening to the clock ticking on my wall and the rhythm of my fingers hitting the keyboard on my MacBook. A siren went past just then. I’m also aware that I’ve just listened to myself say to myself in my head; ‘you’re a strange man’ upon realising that the main thing I am actually listening to is the sound of me typing and the clock .

23. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
A really dark purple.

24. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Freshly talced babies, fields of flowers, the names of which I couldn’t tell you if I was smelling them, the aroma of the air when walking through a pine forest, burning matches, ‘Antaeus’ by Chanel and ‘The One’ by Dolce & Gabanna.

25. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My mam.

26. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house.

27. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football, Wimbledon (quarter finals onwards) and post 60’s to pre-milennium boxing.

28. HAIR COLOUR?
Black

29. EYE COLOUR?
A brown so dark they’re almost black.

30. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, I keep them in my phone like everyone else.

31. FAVOURITE FOOD?
My mam’s apple pie is unstoppable. The lamb roast she makes at Christmas and Easter is incredible. My own Caribbean salsa chicken recipe is awesome when it’s right. The jerk chicken and the curry goat and rice they serve at Notting Hill Carnival. Escovitch fish with rice and gungo peas, and the Thai hot and sour soup they serve at Ark Bar on Samui Beach (I love food lots) 😛

32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Thrillers.

33. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The last movie I saw was The Good Shepherd, but it was so tediously long and dull that I stopped really watching by the time Angelina Jolie got fed up with being ignored by Matt Damon’s cold, detached CIA husband. The last movie I watched was Spike Lee’s remake of Oldboy, but only because I was holding out in the hope that it was going to come good before the end. It didn’t.

34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Olive green.

35. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Who likes the winter!? I’m a man filled with Caribbean blood living in Manchester for Christ’s sake, summer is like therapy.

36. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both please.

37. FAVORITE DESSERT?
My mam’s apple pie.

38. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Jacuzzi.

39. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Computer feeding movies and mini-series’ through my television. Television is like a social lobotomy.

40. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I’m writing one and reading several for research. The most interesting and disturbing is ‘Confessions of an Economic Hitman’ by John Perkins.

41. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My computer, an ashtray, a can of Stella and various receptacles for storing stationary – these questions must have come from the 90’s because nobody uses a mouse pad anymore… do they?

42. FAVOURITE SOUND?
The sea.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
That’s racist.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Somewhere out of my mind on LSD.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I was told by my school teacher that I have ‘great perspicacity’. Aside from that I can pretty much sleep anywhere under any circumstances if I’m tired enough.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
SM7, St. Mary’s Hospital, Manchester.

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Manchester… I need to move on, really, holidays just aren’t enough.

48. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR HOUSE?
That’s elitist.

49. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR CAR?
It will be silver when I eventually clean it again.

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
It’s better than watching 90 minutes of England in an international friendly with Denmark… but yeah, that was fun. Now can somebody tell me where these questions came from please?

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10 thoughts on “50 Questions

  1. My favorite: “Do you use sarcasm a lot?” “No.”
    You easily rated 5 stars, but as Grammar Goddess and Punctuation Princess, I just couldn’t bring myself to give them to a man who uses apostrophe-s to form plurals–Eek–no matter how d*mn funny many of your answers were. I’m going to break my own rule for the first time–where I never self-promote on first visits:
    http://outlierbabe.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/apostrophe-catastrophe/

    SO tired right now (way past my naptime), but will be back to read more posts. Good stuff here!.

    • Aha! Hunted down and shamed by the grammar Gestapo. I usually get pulled on ‘there’ and ‘there’s’ but I’ve worked this one out with my inner grammar therapist. Perhaps I’m not completely cured and the problem has just been displaced to a plural or possessive apostrophe issue. Then again I was into three cans of Stella and on my fourth so I’m not going to be too harsh on myself. However, I’m going to rid my posting of those offensive apostrophes right now and be relieved that to err is human, because I sometimes wonder about myself. However, there are two other errors involving an unneeded article and a missing pronoun, I challenge you to find them 😉

      • Didn’t spot your surplus article nor purloined pronoun, but stopped looking after quickly noting the punctuation issues below. My first comment would never tick each failing in a blogger’s post–I certainly have more than enough of my own–but now, you’ve asked for it, Thumbie! BTW, anyone is always more than welcome to alert me to blunders in my posts. Even to open their comments with these words:

        “Hey, fumble-fingers, I thought one of your ex-careers was ‘teacher’? (Guess we all know now why it’s ‘ex’–nyuk, nyuk!)”

        1. s/b no comma between corporate and cartel. 2. comma after illiterate s/b a colon and my capitalized 3. thought-provoking s/b hyphenated. 4. a dash or comma (or whatever) s/b after the first hey 5. there’s enough s/b there’re enough (cocks) 6.both occurrences of lets should have apostrophes (contractions of let-us) 7. comma should precede eh, and question mark follow it.

        On an entirely unrelated matter, you say you cannot be racist because, in sum, you have mixed heritage and dark skin. My goodness. Some would say that position sounds racist against white people–it sounds as if you assume racism can be directed only against non-whites. Further, whether directed against whites or people of various other shades, being a child of mixed heritage certainly does not preclude being racist, even against members of one’s own heritage–as surely you know. For one example, look to some (more often American?) blacks who have prejudice toward lighter skinned blacks and against African-featured ones.

        So there, nyeah-nyeah, etc. I’m off to do some REAL work now.

      • Grammar Gestapo, feminista and liberal gatekeeper of ethnic minority rights to declare abstention from racism. Wow! What a fearsome teacher you must have been.

        I really do hope you appreciate what a wonderfully privileged position being an educated, literate and articulate, white liberal American lady puts you in. To have the confidence and self belief in your entitlement to upbraid a brown Englishman of multicultured origins for suggesting that by virtue of the ethnic diversity of his very own gene pool and family that he has a natural disinclination to racism. Ma’am, I salute your effrontery. I mean how dare I, one of the subjugated minority who’s been living in a white Eurocentric world – a world that was built on the same subjugation that defines me as ‘the subjugated’ by virtue of my skin tone – suggest that I could be exempt from racist intentions? I mean I’ve only been that minority for the entirety of my existence, whereas you have read something somewhere, or watched some documentary feature about the global nightmare of ‘Black-on-not-so-Black’ racism so naturally have the weight of that foreknowledge to support your reprimand. I can only express humble gratitude for highlighting this issue to me. I’ve clearly been caught napping all these years in the haven of my ethnically diverse, racism-free, Nirvana to have even noticed this problem. I really should pay more attention as all I have to go on is a lifetime of personal experience and an empathy with issues of race that only a person of colour or a white person with dark skinned family and loved ones could ever really fully relate to. I think that if you’re fortunate enough to embrace a little bit of genetic colour into your own personal family makeup, it may add to your already clearly extensive knowledge on the issue and you’ll understand even better how racism can just dissolve away. It’s a beautiful thing.

        On the more related issue, I’ll take your word for all those grammatical errors. I like to concentrate on the trees, the forest and the fun that can be had exploring the terrain without a compass. I dare say that Formula 1 lovers took more joy from Ayrton Senna rather than the team of mechanics and engineers who made his car. But they do a great job too.

  2. Umm..Mr. S.T. (Suicidal Thumb) ? You may have a mother, a sister, and a daughter, but as a possible self-obsessed ego whore, you still,unconsciously used a sexist metaphor of “spreading your legs” for s–t to enter. As a male yourself, why didn’t you choose male imagery? Even the word “whore” is sexist. Please give me a male equivalent. There isn’t one. “Gigolo” doesn’t cut it. I mean, am not REALLY getting on your case in a rabid way, but just pointing out what your daughter will have permeate her consciousness, subconsciously, her every waking moment.

    • It’s quite an assumption to assume that my metaphor is not deliberately sexist. Perhaps it is sexist. I have at no point implied that I am entirely perfect. A soupcon of sexism may perhaps be one of my many imperfections. Being a little chauvinistic is often an effect of being raised in a household full of females. A paradoxidal dichotomy occurs where you have a fierce respect for your female counterparts whilst at the same time harbouring a seed of informed contempt. However there is indeed a male equivalent to this ‘sexist’ metaphor and that is the term ‘rent boy’. That would make my metaphor more along the lines of “a self-obsessed-ego-rent-boy spreading my ass cheeks for the world to enter”. This doesn’t really work for me for a couple of reasons; firstly, it just doesn’t have the same rhythmical linguistic flow. Secondly, as a heterosexual man I find the graphic and biological implications of man-on-man anal penetration repulsive – just thinking about it piques my olfactory senses and makes me gag. Naturally I don’t really want that image in my head, up my nose or in my ass! Sometimes the established stereotypes are simpler to digest and work better to make the imaginative thread flow – not that I’m saying that’s right, it just is. A bit like the use of the word ‘black’ to infer something negative, dark or forboding. Black is a pretty gloomy colour and women tend to be sexually objectified (the oldest profession), these are just truisims.

      What I can tell you about my daughter is that she is her father’s son – she has been schooled well in that art of negotiating the harsh terrain of life. She can deal with industrial language and humour (she’s a big Kevin Hart fan) and has learned that irrespective of how the world is presented via the contrived rose-tinted prism of media polls and trending, it’s a really tough f***ing place and you need a fair degree of thick skin and compromise to negotiate the many (often wonderful) contradictions of the human condition. She’s beautiful, blonde (from a bottle), ever so girly, a little bit ditzy and over-preoccupied with narcissistic preening, but she throws a true hip-twist-straight-fisted overhand right and commands respect from her male counterparts – by virtue of her independence and strong personality rather than a good right hook (but I have been told that when she is upset she can be prone to emotionally violent outbursts – those imperfections again!). For that I am proud.

      I think that has covered everything, but I genuinely and sincerely welcome you up Beasley Green’s street. I enjoy intelligent agitation… Wait a minute – did I just refer to myself in the third person? I did… I’ve been doing this too long already.

      Enjoy my blog, you will find lots of stuff (both grammatical and topical) to injure your sensibilities I’m sure. But I welcome your comments.

      Sincerely yours
      S.T.D (I don’t know what the ‘D’ should stand for but it just seems a waste of an acronym gag not to include it)

      🙂

  3. 1. No one who appears white can know thing one about growing up and living black. Ever. (No matter how many times they watch “12 Years a Slave”.or how many black friends they hang out with.)

    2. I am a big, grown-up girl now. I am fully aware that I grew up in an extremely privileged position, being an educated, articulate, white-appearing, conservative (now liberal) upper-middle-class (now lower class) American woman.

    3. I can read now in hindsight how high my high horse sounded, and for that, I apologize. Your own family sounds as fascinating as you clearly knew it was when you chose to describe it. Obviously someone from a mixed-heritage family like yours would be less inclined to racism. It was primarily your choice of the word “impossible” that I responded to. I do stand by what I said. It is only your assumption that I “… have read something somewhere, or watched some documentary feature about the global nightmare…”. You know nothing about me, my family, or my friends. I am sorry what I said offends you and you disagree.

    4. Re: all those punctuation errors I pointed out, I, too, don’t give a damn about them–hadn’t even noticed most of those on my first read–and would never have pointed them out had YOU not solicited me to error-search your piece (remember?). I too like to concentrate on the trees, And, if by “fearsome” teacher, you mean “awesome”, you are correct (one important part of being a great teacher is NOT to nitpick Every Single Error). In my best year, I began the year with 34 English-learning East L.A. students who tested at the 20% percentile and came to school hating it. They left school in June with Language (reading/writing) scores out-testing the entire city of Los Angeles, and Math scores out-testing the entire state of California. And most of them had learned what real pride was.

    Impugn my lack of racial sensitivity if you must, but nobody slams my teaching skills.

    • Apology accepted – we’re all good 😉
      …Now swiftly moving on, perhaps you can give me some teaching tips. I’ve only just started teaching language students. Having come from a creative writing background I tend to have a flexible approach to the idea of communication which I don’t think sits too well with those who just want to pass their IELTS.

      NB: Aside from the suicidal thumb there’s also a tongue lodged firmly in the cheek of the majority of this blogs content… “I tell stories and they’re not always true…”

  4. You mean no expedition to Kathmandu? (wondered about that one…)
    Tips? I mostly did it seat of the pants, Was only classroom teacher for five years. Have tutored adults in English, and found the best is for me was this mix (numbers at front are totally out of my #ss and are mostly to give relative proportions within lesson time). But who knows what will work for you?

    1) 5-10: conversation: just comfortably shooting the breeze, making sure to cover a wide range of topics–fun, and it stretches that grammar and vocabulary;

    2) 5-10: most-frequent-word drills (google “most frequent words)–not exciting, but really pays off. i limited the list to 10 or 15 at a shot;

    3) 2: c.w.p.m. warm-up (CORRECT words per minute) (1 minute to test, 30 sec. for students to find the passage, 30 sec. for them to write their scores down–these should be tracked. Make sure students know all passages are not equal, and times will go up and down–long-term trend is the interest.

    4) 15 minutes partner reading–taking turns reading something of high interest within their reading level (no more than 5 words on a page they don’t already know). Always end on a spot where they want to know what comes next….
    Children’s books are good, such as Frindle, Holes, Hatchet (in ascending vocabulary order). I was really bummed when the film of Holes came out, ’cause it was SO good for students–all the surprises are now ruined.

    Must apply fluid reader practices: (1) NO finger or pencil under each word–only at the beginning of each line, if they must. (Poorest readers may need an index card or paper under each line, but NO finger, please–proven to keep one un-fluid). Have them take some action when they notice one of the day’s frequent words (raise a finger, or whatever). (2) NO guessing at longer words. Must make attempt to “read through” the word’s letter sounds, left to right. Ask student to cover right half of word with finger or pencil eraser if s/he has difficulty with this. Also: “Can you see any small word you know at the front of/ inside of that bigger word?”

    (If there is someone who is p-a-i-n-fully slow at reading, whisper-reading can perform miracles: This is when you–after getting their permission–stand intimately behind them, put your hopefully fresh-breathed mouth almost touching their ear, and literally whisper the words they are reading–but a quarter-second before they say them. You are “pushing” their reading along. You will find that their reading begins to accelerate to catch up, as you continue to push. Sometimes, the best times, one session is all it takes for a student to have the lesson “take” and achieve more-fluid reading.)

    Since you have a whole class, I wouldn’t rule out whole-class reading. It is boring, but not entirely ineffective, and I used some of it in my class–not often, but some. Another strategy for large groups is to have groups of 3 read (rather than 1–less fear), or have 1-2 read aloud with YOU.

    5) 10 minute grammar lesson; e.g. 4, to teach, 4 to do, 2 to assess and review

    6) conversation wrap-up.

    With a whole class of adult learners, I would also do the yoga stretches and Simon Says exercises I used with my child students–people need to get up and move when stuck, TRAPPED, in a room where they don’t want to be. Simon Says can give lots of vocab opportunities, if you’re creative.

    Oh–and SONGS. Borrow a karaoke machine and have everybody watch those words and sing along. Or just have everyone call up the same lyrics on their phones. I used sing-along LOTS in my class, writing songs for History and Science lessons. Anywhere I could sneak in vocabulary, I went for it.

    Hope some of this is useful.

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